How To Get What You Want

How To Get What You Want

- in Self-Improvement
get what you want

It is going to be very difficult for you to achieve your goals and get what you want if you are low on confidence. There are likely to be many times when you need a high degree of confidence to tackle something that you have never done before.

This is all fine. When you tackle new things you push the boundaries of your comfort zone. Far too many people stay in their comfort zone for their entire life. They would never take on anything that they had never done before. You do not want to be like this so you need to work on your self-confidence and believe that you can tackle anything.

Irrational Fear

irracional fear
White smoke art textured background

Your subconscious mind will protect you from things that you are fearful of. If a hungry lion is loose in the city then your subconscious will do everything possible to help you keep out of its path. This is fine because it is a real danger to you.

But if you have an irrational fear of public speaking your subconscious will treat this in the same way. It will help you to avoid every possible opportunity for you to make a public speech. This kind of fear is irrational and you may not realize it now but it is not helping you at all.

If you have these kinds of irrational fears then you will give your confidence a massive boost by overcoming them. How do you do that? The best way is to tackle irrational fears head-on. Just do it anyway despite the pain.

Force yourself to make small public speeches if this is one of your fears. Start with a small and friendly audience of family members and friends and then get braver. Learn the best techniques for public speaking and then put this into practice. You will send the right signals to your subconscious and your confidence will increase significantly.

Is your Self Esteem high?

Be honest with yourself here. What do you really think about yourself? Are some things good and some things bad? Do you really love yourself? Do you beat yourself up regularly if you make a mistake or for any other reason?

If you want to be super confident then your self-esteem needs to be high. If you have a low opinion of yourself then you need to work on this right now. Write down what you think your weaknesses are and then turn these around into positive statements.

For example, if you think “I am not good in social situations” turn this into “I am like a social magnet and always get what I want from social situations”. The reason that you need to do this is to create a list of positive affirmations that you can read out loud every morning and evening to boost your self-esteem.

Use a Physical Anchor for instant Confidence

This is very easy to do and very powerful. Think back to something that you achieved in the past. It needs to be something challenging that you are really proud of. Reflect on how this makes you feel and make the feelings really strong. 

When these feelings are at their peak squeeze your thumb and forefinger together to “anchor” the feeling. Now when you need a confidence boost in the future all you need to do is squeeze your thumb and forefinger together.

You Need To Create A Plan To Achieve Your Goal and Get What you Want

planWe always encourage people to think big when they are deciding on their goals. It is best not to concern yourself about how you will achieve a goal while you are deciding what you want. This is because you may experience negative thoughts and this can put you offsetting the goal in the first place.

Once your goal is set and you have written it down and added emotion to it by thinking about why you really want it then it is time to create your plan. If you have set yourself a challenging goal to earn a lot more money, for example, it is now time to think about how you are going to do this. 

You don’t need all of the Answers right now

If you have a challenge in front of you like a goal it is easy to become overwhelmed because you don’t know how to achieve it. The best way to avoid this overwhelm is to break the goal down into smaller parts.

So if your goal is to make $100,000 in the next year then you need to work out how you are going to do this. There are a couple of obvious things that you can do such as getting a second job or trading your existing job for a higher paying one. But these are not the only options available to you.

There are many people out there making considerable money on side hustles working from home. All they need is a computer and a connection to the Internet. Examples of this are affiliate marketing (you promote other people’s products and services for a commission), setting up your own online store, offering coaching services, and many more.

So the first part of your plan needs to be researched based. Today you have so many resources available to you online. Take the time to look at the different opportunities that exist to make the additional money that you need. 

Just use Google or your favorite search engine to find out more. If you prefer to watch videos than you can go to YouTube and search there. You will find thousands of videos about how you can make money online.

Make your Decision and Plan for it

After you have been through the research stage you can now create a detailed plan around this. So if you have decided to find a higher paying job what skills are you going to need to land a job like this?

If you want to create an online business that you can work on from home then what do you need to learn in order to achieve this? Do you need a website? Do you need to create videos? How will you get visitors that are interested in what you have to offer that can turn into customers?

Create a Daily Plan

Taking action to achieve your goal is the best thing to do. This builds momentum every day and you will be surprised by the progress that you make. So you want to break your plan down into small actions that you can take each day.

Your Plan will never be Perfect

Accept that your plan will never be perfect and that you will need to review it and adjust it regularly. This is the same for everyone. If you know exactly how to achieve your goal then it is not challenging enough!

You Need To Decide What You Really Want

what you really wantMost people do not really know what they want which is why they never get it. If you were to walk into a busy shopping mall and ask some people at random what they want then the vast majority would not be able to tell you. 

You would get answers like:

“I don’t really know”

“I haven’t thought about it”

“I am not sure”

And so on. If you don’t know what you really want from your life then you will never get it. You need clarity here otherwise you will just drift along in your life. So make a commitment now to think about what you really want in the short term and the long term.

Why don’t people know what they want?

You would think that as highly intelligent creatures every member of the human race would know what they want from life. After all, they have this wonderful thing called a brain, but the problem is they don’t know how to use it properly. Humans can achieve anything. Look around you and see what we have invented and created.

But thinking about what we really want takes effort. It requires focused thinking which most people would prefer not to do. They would prefer to do something that requires very little thought effort such as wasting their time on social media.

There is a message here – if you really want to get what you want then you need to put in the effort to get it. This starts with thinking through what improvements you want to make in different areas of your life. So put your phone on silent, turn off the TV, and any other distractions and take the time out to design your life going forward.

How to Decide what you really want

Get a pen and plenty of paper and find somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed. How long will this take you? Well, it depends – we are talking about shaping your destiny here so how long it takes should not be an issue for you. It will take as long as it takes.

Divide a sheet of paper in two by drawing a line in the middle. On the left-hand side make a heading “things I don’t want” and on the right “things I do want”. Then start thinking about different areas of your life such as:

  • Your finances
  • Your relationships
  • Your job or business (how you make money)
  • Your personal life
  • Your hobbies
  • Your health and wellbeing

You can add more aspects of your life here this is not an exhaustive list. So as an example let’s take a look at the money that you are earning right now. If you are earning $30,000 a year and want more then write “I want to earn more than $30,000 a year” on the left and then “I want to earn $100,000 a year” on the right-hand side.

Do not be concerned about how you will achieve this at this point. Just let your mind run wild and write down what it tells you. Think about all of the different aspects of your life such as your health and write down what comes to mind. If you don’t want to be 20 pounds overweight then write on the right what weight you want to be.

Develop Mental Toughness To Get What You Want

When you set challenging goals for yourself to get what you really want you will need to have a level of resilience that keeps pushing you forward whatever obstacles you meet along the way. It is inevitable that you will have to overcome challenges and you do not want to give up when the going gets tough.

So you need to develop a mental toughness that will see you through the difficult times. There are so many different things that can throw you off track when you are trying to achieve your goals. You may face a lot of negativity from people that you know and trust and if you are not mentally tough they can persuade you to give up for example.

So what traits do you need to develop for mental toughness?

Make a Start

All successful people make a start. They do not wait around for something to happen or others to do something. When they have new ideas they get started immediately. If you need to wait for someone to get back to you about something then work on other areas of your goal.

So just be a self-starter. This is a problem for a lot of people because they have been told what to do their entire life. You just need to practice starting on things right away. After a while, this will become second nature to you.

You need to Prioritize

Once you really get into your goals then you will probably find that your daily “to-do” list grows pretty long. You need to prioritize which tasks to perform first. We recommend starting with a simple task first to build momentum. Then tackle any task that you know is going to stress you out next.

Focus is essential

Are you easily distracted? If you get a notification on your phone do you tend to drop everything and attend to it? You want to identify the things that distract you and keep them out of sight when you are working on your goals. The ability to focus is a great mental toughness trait.

Sometimes things happen in life and you have no choice but to attend to them. When you get back to your tasks you need to be able to refocus again quickly to get everything done. With some practice, you will easily develop this trait so keep at it.

You need to be Persistent

All of the traits are important but this one is top of the list. Persistence will keep you going when you don’t want to carry on. It will also prevent you from giving up when you feel that all is lost. So the next time you feel like procrastinating or giving up altogether call on your persistence to see the job through.

You need to Review how you are doing

Take a regular look at where your actions are taking you. It is utterly pointless to take massive action that doesn’t get you anywhere. If something is not working then work out why and change your approach. Don’t just assume that everything that you do is moving you closer to achieving your goals.

Get Organized

Don’t just put important things anywhere. If your computer is a mess then organize files into folders so that you know where to find them when you need them. The same applies to documents in your home. Spending time trying to find stuff is very frustrating and can seriously hamper your progress.

How To Create An Empowering Daily Ritual

The best way to signal to your subconscious mind and the Universe that you are serious about getting what you really want is to take daily action. We recommend that you start a new daily ritual that will empower you to do the things that you need to do and have the energy and motivation to do them.

There are several things that you can do here. You need to cosign your current routine to the trash. If it was working for you then you would already have what you want wouldn’t you? It is very important that you start the day off in the right way and end it on a positive note as well.

Starting your Day to Get What You Want

You can decide the order that you do these things. What is important is that you do them. 

Positive Affirmations – create a list of positive affirmations and speak them out loud or in your head. This will send positive signals to your subconscious and the Universe and will set you in the right frame of mind for the day ahead.

Stretch and Breathe – when you get up in the morning perform some simple stretching exercises and breathe deeply. This will help to get your blood circulation moving and will provide you with much-needed energy.

Visualize – take a few minutes out to visualize that you already have what you really want in your life now. If it is money then see it in your account. If it is weight loss then see the new slimmer you. Make the feelings really intense here. This should be a very joyous session for you.

Read your Goals and get inspired – read your goals and the reasons why you want to achieve them. Get inspired by this and feel all of the positive energy entering your body.

Start on your Daily Tasks – make a start on your daily tasks. Choose a simple task first to build momentum using the power of inertia. 

Start making Journal Entries

A journal is a great way to see how far you have come with your goals. If you don’t have a journal then start one today. At the end of every day write down your major accomplishments and the feelings you have experienced. Add doodles or whatever you want to inspire you. 

You can use the most basic notepad as a journal – it really doesn’t matter. Use a pen and paper arrangement rather than a computer-based journal. There is something about writing things down that is really empowering. If you are feeling down for any reason, look back over your journal entries to give yourself a lift.

End the Day on a Positive Note to Get What you Want

It is important that you end the day right so that you can get a good night’s rest. Here is what you need to do:

Positive Affirmations – speak your affirmations again

Plan for the next day – reflect on your daily task “to do” list and plan ahead for tomorrow. It is better to do this the night before as you know exactly what you need to do in the morning and you can start immediately.

Read your Goals again – reflect on your goals and the reasons for achieving them again at the end of the day.

Get enough sleep – it is essential that you get the right amount of sleep so that you rest your body and your brain.

How To Set Goals That Will Inspire You To Achieve Them

There are many experts out there who will tell you to set goals in specific ways. The issue is that you need to set your goals in the best way that will work for you. Achieving challenging goals is not easy and if your goals do not inspire you then you will not achieve them. 


When you are setting goals you need to be as specific as possible. It is no use writing “I want to earn more money in the next 12 months”. What does that mean? If you earn 50 cents more than you did last year does that mean that you achieved your goal? Technically yes it does!

The same goes for losing weight or getting fitter. Just writing a goal to lose weight is meaningless. So is a goal to “get fitter”. There are no specifics here and the goal is not challenging because of this. 

We recommend that you use the SMART goal-setting process. This is an acronym that stands for:


You need to be as specific as possible with all of your goals. So change “I want to earn more money next year” to “I will earn $100,000 in the next 12 months”. The same goes for losing weight. “I will lose weight next year” is useless so change it to “I will lose 60 pounds in the next 12 months” for example.


By being more specific with your goals you will be able to measure your progress. It is pointless embarking on any goal that you cannot measure. A goal that states “I want to be more intelligent” is going to be very difficult to measure. But “I want to improve my IQ to 140” is definitely measurable.


When you set goals they need to be actionable. A goal that relies on someone else doing something first or something else happening is not an actionable goal. A goal needs to be in your control – you can work on it each day without having to rely on external factors. 


We do not want to stifle your creativity and free mind here. But if you are in your mid-fifties and somewhat overweight having a goal to be the next world tennis champion is not realistic no matter how good of a tennis player you are. Make all of your goals realistic. Not too easy to achieve but something that you can actually do.


A goal without a time frame is useless. “I will earn $100,000” and “I will lose 60 pounds” will never be achieved. You must add a time frame so that the goal is challenging for you. Without this, you can be working on your goal for an entire lifetime.

Adding Spice to your Goals

The SMART goal-setting process is logical and makes a lot of sense but on its own, it will not push you to achieve your goals. You need to add “spice” to your goals so that you will jump out of bed each morning and be inspired to achieve them.

The best way to do this is to add emotion to every goal. Decide on the real reason that you want more money or want to be in better shape. Think about how this will make you feel and use these feelings to inspire you every day.

Using The Law Of Attraction To Get What You Want

If you want to use the power of the Law of Attraction to get what you really want then you need to understand what it is and how it works. Lots of people have heard of the Law of Attraction but they don’t fully understand it and because of this, they may believe that it doesn’t work.

The Law of Attraction is real and it does work. But you need to use it properly to get the results that you want. In this article, we will tell you what the Law of Attraction is and what it isn’t, as well as explain how it works in simple terms and how you should use it to manifest and get what you want.

What is the Law of Attraction?

The Law of Attraction is a universal law that works on the basis that like attracts like. Everything in the Universe vibrates. You cannot see these vibrations with the naked eye but they are there. Human beings send vibrations to the Universe through their thoughts, feelings, and actions.

So if you are someone that is constantly thinking about the lack of your life (things that you don’t have) then the Universe will send you more of this lack because it thinks this is what you want. Conversely, if you send positive thoughts to the Universe then you will get positive things.

The Universe does not distinguish between good and bad. So if you are always thinking about bad things then you will get more bad things. The Universe aligns itself to give you what you want so you need to change your thinking to make it work for you.

The Law of Attraction is not magic. You may have read or seen in movies that all you need to do is to hope that good things will happen to you and they will. It doesn’t work like that. You need to focus on what you want and take action to get what you want.

How to use the Law of Attraction

The most important thing is to believe that the Law of Attraction works and that you will get what you desire. If you do not have a strong belief then it will never work for you because you will not send the right vibrations to the Universe. Your belief needs to be unshakable.

You need to be completely clear on what it is that you really want. Clarity is power and once you have decided what you want then you need to focus on this to get what you want. Writing down and reflecting on your goals is a good way to do this.

You need to think that what you really want has already happened in your life. Use visualization to see this thing in your life and experience strong feelings around it. Imagine the joy of having this thing in your life.

Taking action is an essential step to making the Law of Attraction work for you. When you take action towards achieving your goals you send the strongest vibrations to the Universe. The Universe will not just give you what you want through thought alone – you need to take action as well and experience strong feelings in the process.

How To Use Emotion To Set Passionate Goals

Most people only ever attempt to set goals at New Year’s. Usually, this is a half-hearted attempt to change their life for the better in the coming year and is often associated with alcohol. Some people actually follow through on these goals and join a gym in the New Year or go on a diet.

But very few people actually stick to their resolutions. Why is this? Well, they don’t have any emotion behind their goals. They saw themselves in the mirror on New Year’s Eve and thought to themselves “I need to lose some weight”. They were not specific about how much weight they wanted to lose or why they wanted to lose it.

Goals without Emotion are generally useless

If you have some goals written down then congratulations – you are truly in the top 1-3% of the population here because the vast majority of people never set any goals for themselves. They seem to be happy to drift along in life and let life control them.

The thing is that you need to do more than just write a list of goals. A lot of people who have set goals in the past and have not achieved them will tell you that goal setting doesn’t work. But if you ask them how much they really pursued their goals they will probably tell you that they didn’t do that much.

They joined a gym and started to work out regularly for a few weeks. Then they gave up. Or they went on a diet and lost a few pounds but soon went back to their old bad eating habits. So what is the problem here?

Goals that challenge you (the best kind) require effort and persistence. In order to keep going with your goals, you need the motivation to push you when you don’t feel like it. This motivation comes from your emotions.

How to use Emotions to Achieve your Goals

When you are writing your goals you need an emotional reason for trying to achieve them. A goal to lose 20 pounds in 3 months is not going to work unless you are truly committed. So think about the real reason “why” you want to lose this weight. Be honest with yourself here.

Most people do not want to lose weight so that they can fit into their old clothes. They want to lose weight because they want to be more attractive. So add a statement to this effect to your goal. 

“I want to lose this weight because I want to get the attention of [name] at my office as I believe he/she is the one for me”. Or “I want to lose the weight because I want to turn heads and get attention from the opposite sex wherever I go”.

You need to come up with your own statements but hopefully, you get the idea here. Any emotional statement that you write alongside your goal is there to inspire you. It is there to provide the motivation to keep going when you don’t want to. It is something that you will read every day and it will make you feel great. Stop worrying about what other people think of you. 

This really works well. So take a look at all of your goals right now and figure out the real reason that you want to achieve them. This will always be an emotional reason. Why do you really want to earn more money – what will that extra money mean to you? How will it make you feel?

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